You have a decision in front of you. A job offer in another city, a relationship you're not sure about, whether to go back to school. You've already thought about it a lot. You may have made a list or two. And at some point, late, you open a chat window and type the whole thing out.

For a lot of people that window is ChatGPT. It's a reasonable choice. This piece is about where a general assistant like ChatGPT helps with a decision, where a coach you text (we make one, called Inkling) works differently, and how to tell which one you need tonight.

What ChatGPT is good at here

ChatGPT is a general assistant. It's built to help with almost anything you ask it, and a lot of what a decision needs is exactly that kind of help.

  • Facts and research. What does a one-bedroom cost in Austin? How do people usually negotiate a start date? What's the real difference between two degree programs? A general assistant is the right tool for questions with answers.
  • Structure on request. If you ask for a pros and cons list, a decision matrix, or the questions you should ask the recruiter, you'll get a thorough one quickly.
  • Drafting. The email declining the offer, the message to your manager, the script for a hard phone call.
  • It can remember, too. ChatGPT has a memory feature. It can keep saved memories and, on supported plans, draw on your past chats. OpenAI's pricing page describes memory as "limited" on the free plan and expanded on paid ones, and you can turn it off or use a temporary chat that doesn't create memories.
  • Crisis safeguards. OpenAI says ChatGPT points people in the US to 988 when it detects distress, and to local helplines elsewhere.

There is also a free plan. If what you need is information, structure or a draft, ChatGPT may be all you need, and we'd tell you so.

Where decisions actually get stuck

Most hard personal decisions aren't stuck for lack of information. They're stuck because two things you want point in different directions, and one of them is hard to say out loud.

You can have the cost of living, the salary difference and a perfectly balanced list, and still not know what to do. When the lists keep coming out even, the lists usually aren't what decides it.

What helps at that point is someone asking a question that gets underneath the list. What's pulling you toward this, apart from the money? If the money weren't a factor, what would you do? Then waiting for your answer. (We've written a longer guide on how to make a decision when you can't decide.)

You can ask ChatGPT to work this way. Some people write a prompt asking it to act as a coach and only ask questions, and that can work. The difference is mostly about what each tool is built for and where it lives.

How a coach you text works differently

Inkling is an AI thinking partner you text, over iMessage or SMS, so it works on iPhone and Android. There's no app to open. It's a contact in your messages, next to your friends and family.

It's built for one kind of conversation. Inkling's job is narrow on purpose: help you get clear on what you actually want to do, and why. Replies are short, like texts, with one question at most. It doesn't hand you worksheets or multi-step plans. A conversation is going well when you leave it knowing what you want to do, with one small next step you picked yourself, or when you were simply heard.

A real exchange from our landing page, about a job offer:

you: idk ive made like 4 pro con lists and they keep coming out even lol

coach: if the lists keep landing even, they're not the thing that decides it.

you: honestly if money wasnt a thing id stay. i just feel stupid saying no to 22k

coach: take the money off the table and you stay. i think you already know that.

It keeps the thread. After a conversation ends, Inkling keeps a short recap and a few plain facts you told it: your sister just had a baby, you're weighing the Austin offer. When you text again next week, you don't have to explain yourself from scratch. That memory is your recent conversations plus whatever looks relevant from older ones. It isn't a word-for-word archive, and we'd rather say that plainly.

It follows up without nagging. If you mention something coming up, like the call where you'll give the recruiter your answer, Inkling may text you afterwards to ask how it went. That happens at most a couple of times a week, and texting "stop checking in" turns it off. There are no streaks, no reminders to finish a task, and nothing that pulls you back to a decision you've set down.

It isn't therapy. Inkling is a thinking partner. If a conversation turns to crisis, it points you to 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, in the US) and doesn't try to handle that itself.

A quick way to choose

Use ChatGPT, or another general assistant, when:

  • you need facts, numbers or research to decide;
  • you want a document: a list, a comparison, an email, a plan;
  • the decision is mostly practical, and you'll know the answer once the facts are in.

Text a coach when:

  • you already have the facts and still don't know;
  • you keep circling the same two options;
  • part of the answer is something you haven't said out loud yet;
  • you want the conversation to still be there when you pick it up again next week, without starting over.

Plenty of people will use both. Research the move in one window, then text the coach at 11pm when the research didn't settle it.

What Inkling costs

Inkling is 14 days free with no card needed, then $8 a month. It works over iMessage or SMS. Your texts are deleted automatically after 12 months, we don't train AI models on what you send, and we never sell your data.

If you have a decision sitting with you right now, you can start with one text.